Using film

I recently bought a lomography Diana F+


As part of my Gold arts award project I will be expanding on my photography skills, and have decided to use a film camera instead of digital to create a vintage theme to my work.
The first thing to do before even starting is to add your film, for a Diana F+ camera you’ll need 120mm film.


Inserting film

1. At the back of the camera there’ll be an exposure counter which you simply switch to 12/16.

2. Next turn open the rear door at the bottom of the Diana F+ and take out the right side take-up spool.

3. When loading your film, prepare a small amount to roll into the spool and into the cavities uses the bottom latches to align the film.

4. Wind your film slightly and close the back remembering to lock the rear door switch.

For flash

1. Insert batteries to the battery chamber located at the bottom of the Diana F+ flash.

2. Slide to open the battery door inserting one AA battery and close

3. Lastly Take a shot using your shutter release and wind

I would definitely recommend any photography beginners to get the diana f+ as it’s very easy to use especially for those interested in using film over digital. Many benefits to using film include nice colour and light blending, the grainy texture to photos, and the controlled highlights to name but a few.

I will be uploading my photos very soon, expanding this online photography workshop, so please keep your eyes peeled for it.


Arts project

Hi guys,
I’ll be posting quite a bit of art sometime soon, I’m doing an impressionist project on the ways we can express different forms through art. I’m focusing on bringing a story I wrote to life through different mediums I.e. photography, sketches, and paintings.
Hope you guys can give me some feedback on these future art posts.


Living again

Sorry for my reaaaaaaaally long hiatus. It really has been a while and not all of it is down to exams but just pure laziness.
My exams finally ended last Tuesday. I’m still stressed out a bit though, wondering if I’ve done the best I could’ve, wondering what my results will be, wondering about all the other other things to do with school but I guess for now I can breathe for a while and just relax. Atleast until results day.
Anyway in the mean time I’m trying to complete my gold arts award.
It’s pretty fun, but requires effort which I need to put out more.
I’m basing mine on photography, and I guess Impressionism.
I’m trying to photograph and paint and draw etc parts to the story I’m writing, in a sense bringing it to life in art and I’ll be putting some of what I create on my blog, so guys please comment on what you think of whatever kind of art I put on here.
Anyway besides that I’m going back to school tomorrow, should be interesting.
It feels weird going back to school because I don’t really feel like getting taught anything right now since exams just ended, though I guess I could learn next years curriculum a little early but I’m 100% sure it’s not going to go in. I actually feel like how I felt at the beginning of the year, sort of curious as to how school would be like, being in year 12 and all, but also super out of it, like I’ll learn the stuff in class but when I’m out of there I won’t make any effort to remember it.
I guess there’s a lot of pressure now though, I mean I have to start looking into universities and working. I don’t mind working it’s just I feel so awkward walking into a shop to ask the employee something let alone serve a customer, it’s not exactly shyness simply pure awkwardness. It gets so bad that I have to persuade my friend if I’m ever out shopping with one to be my advocate in a sense and ask for me.
I suppose I just have to grow up and deal with it.
Universities are exciting but also scary of course.
I mean it goes back to the grades, will I get them or not?
On a completely random note I want to dye my hair, I want to dye it black. Right now it’s a really drained out red/brown. So yeah I want to dye it black, which should be somewhat exciting I guess.


A story I’m writing (please read..)

So I’ve been writing a story for a while. Below is a scene from the story, an early scene. I’d really appreciate if you could take the time to quickly read, it really means a lot. Please tell me what you think, if you can understand the protagonist, whatever feelings you have after reading or whilst reading, Please comment.

A blur,
Mixed blues and greys all colliding to the centre, but what are they creating?
There’s no light to help me see, only the blues and the greys.
I try to look deeper, I try to find my way through but all I hear is the constant sound of a machine running, an abrupt sound that continues to hum on and on. It belittles the rough footsteps and gasps in the air, it’s familiar. I can’t feel anything tangible, just the constant sound, a buzz whizzing around me. I feel like I could be stung at any moment, if I just reach out I’ll collapse and be left in this hazy place. It could be a cage, some kind of trap, it’s an electric gate. My hands start shaking until they’re violently vibrating, my breaths are getting weaker, my soul starts cutting into my throat, my eyelids get heavier. I see her, I see Thalia, her dark hair layered with cobwebs, her jaw line rough with cuts, I notice a faint light gleaming from behind her arms, her eyes are confused, she sees me, her mouth moves quickly before she disappears, I can’t Hear anymore, I see a haze that slowly gets deeper until there is no blue seeping through, just grey.


I can’t remember when. I’m always searching for when but I can only see bits of what happened, never when.
It’s unfathomable to think that a person could get to such a point where it’s difficult to distinguish their thoughts from insanity to sanity, their memories from imaginary to reality, and their visions from illusions to disillusions. It’s unfathomable to think that a person could go from seeing the sun to only living in the shadows, people always question the darkness but it’s the light that becomes too bright which leads to the shadows, it’s the light people trust until it burns you, burns your vision, your mind, your reality, your soul.
I want to sleep, I feel asleep but sleep is supposed to be nice, calming, appeasing, my sleep is erratic, wayward, endless. I’m waiting for that moment when I’ll wake up to see the blues, the yellows and the soft greys, behind the sharp greys I see now spotting my vision.
I hear a flutter of wings, right at my heart, a flutter of wings.
it’s my soul coming to life, my soul bringing me out of an endless tunnel.
My fingers reach out and clench over a wooden handle, and something softer, cotton, curtains shielding me from the light.
The greys start to disperse, and a whiteness seeps through, the off white colour of the curtains hindering my view of the sky.
There’s a rocking, there’s whispers, there’s shaking, there’s confusion, but no ones screaming, no ones crying. They really have taken us.
The bells have disappeared, everything’s softer, everything’s lighter, almost gentle, but not comfortable.
I pull away at the curtains slightly to see an array of off white cotton coating the narrow walls.
I rub my temples, trying to remember when and how things happened. Trying to remember why.
I never cried, we never cried, just the children.
I tap the window at my side, there are trees outside, autumn leaves skimming into shades of gold and green, the train moves fast but I can’t feel it, everything feels still yet I know everything must be moving.
there’s a soft tug at my curtain, a bony hand clings to it, I peel away the curtain too see small brown eyes staring back at me.
I’m not sure if I’ve seen these eyes before, I probably have, most people have seen most people at home, the small population creates such a community. And pretty much everyone has red hair and brown eyes of some shade, like autumn colours, forever flickering with change.
“We’re safe” a whisper and then nothing.
The eyes disappear behind the white shield they appeared from.
I sit back not really thinking much about the whisper, I’m not even sure if I heard it right and my eyes feel like they’re closing.
I’m thinking about the bells. I used to like the bells, I thought they were so soft, so soothing, a welcoming sort of feel almost. They used to chime in my ears like a beckoning not a calling.
I’m not sure what to think of them now, they took me away from my home, or maybe I took myself away but I’m not sure any of it matters now, I am away from home, I know that much, I’m just unsure why.
When I think of home, I think of it as a place where I was born, a place where I’ve grown up, a place I’ve lived in, I guess simply a place I’ve grown used to. I like home in the sense I like it’s flickering colours, the yellows, the greens, the blues and the oranges, all so colourful and light, but beyond that it’s just a place I’ve grown used to.
It’s still strange to think it was once so different, before the war it was a place so capitalised on media, and wealth that now it seems so humble in comparison.
The ones who outlived the war years ago, often tell stories back home about how they survived it, the war of nations people called it. A war where countries fought for the very thing we all thrive on, survival, and what there is to survive, resources. To think that they divided all their resources up between those victorious and those who had been thwarted, reminds me of animals divided up into predator and prey, fighting for survival, and they’d kill for that survival, and not only that but in the most ferocious ways.
We were thwarted.
They say no one saw it coming even if it was planned no one believed America could be robbed, but we were, we were taken of our wealth and left with our agriculture, left as colonies, a country that is owned, taken from us, controlled in a sense, producing commodities: wheat, steel, oil, coffee beans, and coal, and exporting these goods in order to sustain.
It’s a way of living, a way of sustaining, it’s just a way, but I worry it could be happening again.
I can hear whispers, loud whispers humming outside the curtain, people are talking, actually talking to each other even if it is In a low whisper.
I peel away the curtain once again and look out, I can see shadows printed on the curtain opposite me, two shadowy figures sitting cross legged on the bed, the smaller figure has their head resting on the other’s shoulder.
“Is it for long?” I hear a quiet murmur say, a boy
the taller figure strokes the boy’s hair
“No not for long” she says in a gentle tone, her fingers always running through his curly hair.
“I don’t understand” the boy says in a shaky voice, he sounds young, but not young enough to be seen as a child, perhaps 12 or 13, one of the beginner workers maybe.
“They’re coming for us Harry, were protecting you from this war like how you were protected from one the before, it’s not for long” her voice lowers into a soft hum, she sounds almost bored, like she’s been placating children this whole trip. her fingers run out of his hair, and he sits back onto his bed nodding.
I feel more like a patient now. I sit back into my bed, running my fingers through my own hair and looking at the ceiling quite confused.
How can there be so many gaps in my memory?
It’s like the bells took away my thoughts, they must’ve really made me senseless, I wonder if the people knew about this and that’s why they let us go. I’m not sure anymore, just that something much bigger appears to be going on and so We’re being whisked away because of it. Why does something bigger have to always be going on?
I sleep for a while, I let the light leak into the shadows, I let my mind rest for a while hoping I’ll be able to decipher whatever thoughts I have left soon.
I dream of birds, and I dream of Maxi, I dream of him calling my name, I dream of Sylvia singing to the birds, dreaming of when I used to braid her long hair and she would comb mine.
I dream of silly, normal, real things, things so vivid, I almost believe them to be real.

I don’t know

It’s 14 minutes past 11pm, and I’m tired. Really tired.
The kind of tired where I’m trying really hard to keep my eye lids open, but I’ll probably completely zone out in the next five minutes so I’m going to be quick about this post.
Has anyone ever reached that point where they’re just done with everyone and everything?
As in just the smallest thing gets under your skin kind of feeling, that’s how I feel 247. If Someone even smiles at me I’m like ‘what do you want?’ With a suspicious stare followed by an annoyed eye roll.
I’m not sure why, I guess I’ve just reached that point where I know that people are people and we’re all super similar in so many ways that we’re practically the same whether one likes it or not, people say these things about how we should all Strive to be different but that’s just not how it works, we be ourselves and ourself is replicated in everyone around in some shape or form. we over think, we over react, we cry, we laugh, we all live life through these common ways so at one point we’re sick to be around each other.
reacting differently or similarly..I’m not sure. I see people and I wonder what they see when they look at me, I wonder what I see in them, I wonder if it might be similar to their impression of me, then I’m sick of it and just move along, because people are people, completely Unperfect, we should all have accepted that by now. It makes me laugh when someone won’t accept that, because that’s just…naïveté in it’s most vivid form.


Summary on 2013

It’s quite crazy to believe it’s actually going to be 2014 in like 3 days!
Sometimes I wonder where all that time goes, because I seriously seem to get very little done and in the moment I always feel like I have plenty of time to do something when I really haven’t – I guess that just means I’m lazy.
Looking back I’m not sure what’s really happened to me this year, lots of small things, some more significant than others, some hardly important at all. I never really look back on the big events, like birthdays or school related stuff, more like the smaller moments where I was sad or happy.
I got addicted to a lot of things this year, I think I sort of opened up my circles a bit more, tried to do something more this year, I mean I’ve never drank coffee before, so I got addicted to caffeine this year much to the dismay of my teachers, I also got addicted to music, I mean I’ve always listened to music but this year whenever I’ve been angry or sad music was kinda my go-to. Also my major addiction has been hair dye, I’ve dyed my hair a lot this year from brown, to bronze and now to purple. I kinda like changing my look, trying new things out, seeing what fits me etc.
I started writing letters this year, I used to when I was younger but this year I got back to it and it’s been refreshing and quite reliving. I’ve read quite a few classics also -the importance of being earnest, pride and prejudice, to kill a mockingbird, the Great Gatsby, a little bit of Shakespeare also etc.
Majorly, I got a psychiatrist this year and have started taking cognitive behaviour therapy sessions, which will hopefully be beneficial in the long run and I’ve also been widening my social circles, being more confident with myself and around other people..
My plans for next year are quite simple, to do well in school, maybe dye my hair some more, improve my photography skills, get back to my writing and I guess just be a little bit more hopeful about things.



Firstly, I’m really sorry I haven’t posted in sooooooooooo long,
I’ve been pretty lazy, tired, and busy, all at The same time, but mostly lazy.
So since it’s been about a month since my last post, I suppose I should update on what’s been happening in my life so far,
School’s definitely stepping up with the work, I’m slowly getting crushed under all the weight of homework, but it’s not so bad if I remember to get it all done, good thing I have a diary then since my memory sucks.
The main thing that’s changed in the last month is my sleeping cycle, I’ve been sleeping a lot less than I used to, sometimes less than 5 hours, and then the next morning I’m both tired and not, I’m tired physically but my mind’s wide awake at least I think so…
My psychiatrist has been keeping a record on my sleeping patterns, I don’t think it’s looking so good, first she said were going to make sure it’s nothing physical so I’m going to have to go in for a blood test, (good thing I’m not afraid of needles) and then if it’s a mental issue I think I’m going to be upgraded to therapy, I really don’t want meds, that was the initial option but I don’t want to be reliant on drugs, even if they’re the good kind.
My physiatrist says I should get back to reading books, I’ve lost a lot of interest in what I used to like so I took her advice and I started reading the book the outsiders that a friend recommended. It’s actually pretty amazing, the characters are so dynamic, and relatable, and I feel sympathetic towards them all. There are two characters which really stood out for me though, soda pop and Johnny, soda pop reminds me of how I am on the surface, happy, cheerful, eccentric, and then Johnny is similar to how I am on the inside, jumpy, high strung, nervous, emotional, sensitive etc. and also completely reliant on people.

I never actually realised before, I’ve always thought of myself as being independent up until now, but I realise that Im Actually super dependent on people, I’m constantly around one person or another, constantly talking in some way or another, but then At home I think I’m more solitary, it’s easier to think about things when I’m at home, but everywhere else I tend to always be around someone, slightly strange or normal I’m not sure,

There’s quite a few things I’ve learned about myself recently, that I’m really clumsy when I always thought I was poised XD
That I thought I was in control of how I felt when to everyone else it’s pretty obvious how I’m feeling.
How I’m super immature and playful when I thought I was always serious
But then maybe I’m seeing two different sides to myself, the one other people see and the one I see, but then I’m Not so sure which is the real me, since I’m the type of person who tends to change how they act depending on the type of person they are with…
Me and my psych touched on this last week, ideas of identity etc,
I suppose it’s just something interesting to think about for now, sorry for the uninteresting post but hopefully next time I’ll have something much better to post about.


Back to school.

So on Thursday I went back to school, I’m now in year 12 and I was pretty nervous about going back since I’m no longer apart of the main school which just adds to the responsibility of being the eldest in the school. It wasn’t too bad though since I caught up with my friends and the life of a sixth former, is actually pretty good. I like the independence of being a sixth former, the bit of freedom I get by being one and mainly the sense that I am growing up. I’ve also made a couple of new friends which is always nice, so to summarise I’m feeling rather hopeful of the year ahead. I know I only have around two years left of secondary school but I don’t think there’s much point in pondering over the fact, rather I should just live in the moment and work hard day by day, which seems to me an effective plan.



A while a go I went to London for the day with my family, it was really fun because I saw a lot of the sites and took quite a lot of photos.

Here are a few photos that I took..








I also dropped by patisserie Valerie and bought a gateux, it was soooooo good as you can see.


And I dropped by Hardy’s, I have an obsession with sweet jars..


The best part was that I visited the London dungeon which was amazing, the tour was so great, I loved it all.