A story I’m writing (please read..)

So I’ve been writing a story for a while. Below is a scene from the story, an early scene. I’d really appreciate if you could take the time to quickly read, it really means a lot. Please tell me what you think, if you can understand the protagonist, whatever feelings you have after reading or whilst reading, Please comment.

A blur,
Mixed blues and greys all colliding to the centre, but what are they creating?
There’s no light to help me see, only the blues and the greys.
I try to look deeper, I try to find my way through but all I hear is the constant sound of a machine running, an abrupt sound that continues to hum on and on. It belittles the rough footsteps and gasps in the air, it’s familiar. I can’t feel anything tangible, just the constant sound, a buzz whizzing around me. I feel like I could be stung at any moment, if I just reach out I’ll collapse and be left in this hazy place. It could be a cage, some kind of trap, it’s an electric gate. My hands start shaking until they’re violently vibrating, my breaths are getting weaker, my soul starts cutting into my throat, my eyelids get heavier. I see her, I see Thalia, her dark hair layered with cobwebs, her jaw line rough with cuts, I notice a faint light gleaming from behind her arms, her eyes are confused, she sees me, her mouth moves quickly before she disappears, I can’t Hear anymore, I see a haze that slowly gets deeper until there is no blue seeping through, just grey.


I can’t remember when. I’m always searching for when but I can only see bits of what happened, never when.
It’s unfathomable to think that a person could get to such a point where it’s difficult to distinguish their thoughts from insanity to sanity, their memories from imaginary to reality, and their visions from illusions to disillusions. It’s unfathomable to think that a person could go from seeing the sun to only living in the shadows, people always question the darkness but it’s the light that becomes too bright which leads to the shadows, it’s the light people trust until it burns you, burns your vision, your mind, your reality, your soul.
I want to sleep, I feel asleep but sleep is supposed to be nice, calming, appeasing, my sleep is erratic, wayward, endless. I’m waiting for that moment when I’ll wake up to see the blues, the yellows and the soft greys, behind the sharp greys I see now spotting my vision.
I hear a flutter of wings, right at my heart, a flutter of wings.
it’s my soul coming to life, my soul bringing me out of an endless tunnel.
My fingers reach out and clench over a wooden handle, and something softer, cotton, curtains shielding me from the light.
The greys start to disperse, and a whiteness seeps through, the off white colour of the curtains hindering my view of the sky.
There’s a rocking, there’s whispers, there’s shaking, there’s confusion, but no ones screaming, no ones crying. They really have taken us.
The bells have disappeared, everything’s softer, everything’s lighter, almost gentle, but not comfortable.
I pull away at the curtains slightly to see an array of off white cotton coating the narrow walls.
I rub my temples, trying to remember when and how things happened. Trying to remember why.
I never cried, we never cried, just the children.
I tap the window at my side, there are trees outside, autumn leaves skimming into shades of gold and green, the train moves fast but I can’t feel it, everything feels still yet I know everything must be moving.
there’s a soft tug at my curtain, a bony hand clings to it, I peel away the curtain too see small brown eyes staring back at me.
I’m not sure if I’ve seen these eyes before, I probably have, most people have seen most people at home, the small population creates such a community. And pretty much everyone has red hair and brown eyes of some shade, like autumn colours, forever flickering with change.
“We’re safe” a whisper and then nothing.
The eyes disappear behind the white shield they appeared from.
I sit back not really thinking much about the whisper, I’m not even sure if I heard it right and my eyes feel like they’re closing.
I’m thinking about the bells. I used to like the bells, I thought they were so soft, so soothing, a welcoming sort of feel almost. They used to chime in my ears like a beckoning not a calling.
I’m not sure what to think of them now, they took me away from my home, or maybe I took myself away but I’m not sure any of it matters now, I am away from home, I know that much, I’m just unsure why.
When I think of home, I think of it as a place where I was born, a place where I’ve grown up, a place I’ve lived in, I guess simply a place I’ve grown used to. I like home in the sense I like it’s flickering colours, the yellows, the greens, the blues and the oranges, all so colourful and light, but beyond that it’s just a place I’ve grown used to.
It’s still strange to think it was once so different, before the war it was a place so capitalised on media, and wealth that now it seems so humble in comparison.
The ones who outlived the war years ago, often tell stories back home about how they survived it, the war of nations people called it. A war where countries fought for the very thing we all thrive on, survival, and what there is to survive, resources. To think that they divided all their resources up between those victorious and those who had been thwarted, reminds me of animals divided up into predator and prey, fighting for survival, and they’d kill for that survival, and not only that but in the most ferocious ways.
We were thwarted.
They say no one saw it coming even if it was planned no one believed America could be robbed, but we were, we were taken of our wealth and left with our agriculture, left as colonies, a country that is owned, taken from us, controlled in a sense, producing commodities: wheat, steel, oil, coffee beans, and coal, and exporting these goods in order to sustain.
It’s a way of living, a way of sustaining, it’s just a way, but I worry it could be happening again.
I can hear whispers, loud whispers humming outside the curtain, people are talking, actually talking to each other even if it is In a low whisper.
I peel away the curtain once again and look out, I can see shadows printed on the curtain opposite me, two shadowy figures sitting cross legged on the bed, the smaller figure has their head resting on the other’s shoulder.
“Is it for long?” I hear a quiet murmur say, a boy
the taller figure strokes the boy’s hair
“No not for long” she says in a gentle tone, her fingers always running through his curly hair.
“I don’t understand” the boy says in a shaky voice, he sounds young, but not young enough to be seen as a child, perhaps 12 or 13, one of the beginner workers maybe.
“They’re coming for us Harry, were protecting you from this war like how you were protected from one the before, it’s not for long” her voice lowers into a soft hum, she sounds almost bored, like she’s been placating children this whole trip. her fingers run out of his hair, and he sits back onto his bed nodding.
I feel more like a patient now. I sit back into my bed, running my fingers through my own hair and looking at the ceiling quite confused.
How can there be so many gaps in my memory?
It’s like the bells took away my thoughts, they must’ve really made me senseless, I wonder if the people knew about this and that’s why they let us go. I’m not sure anymore, just that something much bigger appears to be going on and so We’re being whisked away because of it. Why does something bigger have to always be going on?
I sleep for a while, I let the light leak into the shadows, I let my mind rest for a while hoping I’ll be able to decipher whatever thoughts I have left soon.
I dream of birds, and I dream of Maxi, I dream of him calling my name, I dream of Sylvia singing to the birds, dreaming of when I used to braid her long hair and she would comb mine.
I dream of silly, normal, real things, things so vivid, I almost believe them to be real.


Infinite Sky

So I literally just finished reading Infinite sky by C.J. Flood


It was initially the lovely book cover which drew me towards it but the moment I read the blurb I felt intrigued and curious as to what the story was like. It’s a coming of age story about Iris, a thirteen year old girl who’s left confused by the unexplained departure of her mother and the weak strain her father has over her and her older brother Sam. Things don’t get much better when a family of travellers set up an illegal camp right in front of their farm. However, iris is unwilling to succumb to the prejudice her father and Sam have towards them and instead opens up to the traveller boy Trick who challenges all the stereotypes she has heard. Events only run deeper from there as Sam starts going off the rails and her father’s patience with the gypsies soon wears thin.

This story may seem simple and rather light at first but there’s a whole lot more meaning to iris’s innocent outlook than there may seem for sometimes it takes a child to see what’s real and what’s not.

I can safely say I really enjoyed this book and it touched me unlike any other book has as it made me think of my own relationship with my older brother which is slightly similar to the characters in the book. What I loved most about this book was that the characters were real and true and it’s very difficult to find a book which can truly portray that authenticity.

Therefore I award Infinite Sky


The Goose Girl

A few days ago I finished reading The Goose Girlby Shannon Hale


The story’s about Ani, a princess whose been brought up to be the future queen of her kingdom. However, after the death of her father, the queen sends away Ani to be betrothed to the prince of a neighbouring kingdom in a martial alliance. After a series of betrayal and deceit, the princess finds herself lost in unknown land, hiding her royal blood as a goose girl…
I found The Goose Girl to be a really light and enjoyable read, that is beautifully written with a fairytale like quality. If anyone has read and enjoyed Dragonfly by Julia Golding I’m sure you’ll equally love this too as both books are very similar 🙂

Therefore, I award The Goose Girl


Wreck this Journal

I’ve heard a lot about a ‘wreck this journal’ recently and since I’ve had nothing productive to do for a while I went out and got one of my own.
They’re really cool and challenging, you see the book’s filled with prompts on how to wreck each page whether that’s by spilling your tea over or by splatting paint across the pages. Since I love my books and try to keep them in the best condition as they were bought in, this book challenges that entirely as it forces you to get messy.

the front cover


my first challenge


the title page


my second challenge


The Ant Colony

I’ve just finished reading The Ant Colony by Jenny Valentine


The story centres on two very distinctive characters who in an unlikely circumstance come to know of one another. Sam is a 17 year old boy who has left home with unclear reasons at first but his mistakes soon come to the surface as the story continues, and Bohemia is a 10 year old girl who is lost in her mum’s world of countless jobs and endless boyfriends. As these two characters converge, they realise that both can learn something from the other if they just dig deep enough to understand.

I found The Ant Colony to be at first very ambiguous, but as the plot progressed there was more meaning to the words than I had initially thought. Overall, I enjoyed the book very much, and would definitely recommend it to anyone between books right now! 🙂

Therefore, I reward The Ant Colony with…



So I’ve just finished reading Cloaked by Alex Flinn


The story follows johnny, a boy who repairs shoes as a living because of the low income and security his mother and him deal with. However his situation changes as he comes across the beautiful princess of Aloria who is in desperate need of his help and in reward he shall receive a huge bundle of money as well as her hand in marriage. However the quest she asks of is not as easy as it may seem, as johnny is whisked into the magical reality of where animals were once human and witches are real and in search of him…

Cloaked is pretty much a modern take on a popular range of fairytales, mainly including ‘the frog prince’ and ‘the elves and the shoemaker’
It was a particularly light yet nice read, however I did find the plot predictable at times.

Therefore I give it….