Trivial stuff

Today I dyed my hair…
Not really an interesting post but it is something that has happened so why not post it ?
So yes I’ve been wanting to dye my hair for a while now, I guess I just wanted some change, apparently one of the symptoms of depression is wanting to change your look.. I’m not sure if that’s connected to my constant wants of messing with my hair, anyhow, recently I cut my hair pretty short though it’s kinda grown out of it a little but I still wanted a new colour. It’s been a while since the last time I dyed m hair although that was more of an experiment than an actual want. My natural hair colour is a mousy brown, not very interesting but I’ve always liked it up until recently. So I used a blonde dye on my hair, I didn’t want to bleach it so I guess I was kinda curious as to how it would turn out without it, but it’s actually a really pretty colour, a very light auburn, with mousy brown low lights, it reminds me of the colours of leaves in autumn, I suppose that’s why I like it so much. I feel different now, more confident and refreshed (as strange as that is) it’s odd how one alteration on my outward appearance could possibly have such an effect on the rest of me.
My natural hair colour is now back to it’s original brown so I’m thinking of dying it raven black next…



Just how I’m feeling.

Since the fasting period has ended, things have been quite strange, it’s such a weird feeling going back to eating normally again after so long, it’s like I’m eating but I’m not eating. Eating because I have to but not because I want to like normal, I’ve gone so long without that routine that now going back to it feels even stranger than when I started without it. This all must sound so confusing, I’m trying to put it all into words, I feel like I’m failing but what Im trying to say, is that when you go so long without something you thought you needed you slowly ease yourself off it, so much so that when all of it comes back you feel both sides of you wanting and not wanting it, until you slowly bring yourself to rely on it entirely again, maybe starvation is like love, and love is like death, they’re all states of change and when you change back it’s just as strange as when you felt the first change to begin with. What was once normal isn’t anymore. Like things, people change too.
I guess this all sounds weird and kinda pointless, but I’m just in the thinking mood right now, so I thought I’d share my thoughts.


Percy jackson: sea of monsters

So I’m a pretty big fan of the Percy Jackson series I love the sarcastic wit of the characters, the slapstick humour of the books, the way the series differs from other popular novels. The first movie to be quite frank left me slightly disappointed as it did not fully liken to the book, and a lot of the important details were missed out but the second movie seemed to be redeeming the series I thought when I first saw the trailer which encouraged me to see the movie.


Although the sequel in my opinion turned out to be much better than the first in terms of following the story line, the acting showed a grated portrayal of the characters, in having lost some of their persona. The CGI was though quite remarkable, the graphics I have to say were fantastic, which really complimented well with the action in most parts of the film. I do feel that the weak start to the movie series has left a shaky outlook on the sequel, perhaps it is because I have read the books so I’m naturally comparing them to the movies but I still feel the movies have been shaken up so much so they haven’t been made as well as they could have been, if the first movie followed the more important structures of the book. Yet it was on the whole quite enjoyable, I hope the next is to be better.

Mindless waffle.

So I haven’t posted in a while, mainly because there hasn’t been anything to post about.
Hardly anything remotely exciting tends to happen to me but I realise I haven’t posted in a while so Im attempting to now.
Although my blog readership isn’t exactly spilling over but I guess I should humour myself anyway into thinking there might be someone who’s actually interested in reading my waffle. Right now I’m piling up on books, lots of books, so many books that I’m not sure where to start, I’ve taken out the Sherlock Holmes series from the library, a bunch of classics from a charity shop, and then one brand new, totally awesome book (the book thief by Marcus Zusak) that’ll be added to my highly esteemed collection. Not to mention my compulsory summer reading list of ‘much ado about nothing’ and ‘the importance of being earnest’ I’m not exactly a fan of Shakespeare primarily because I just can’t read books that have this emphasis on tragedy and romance, but I don’t mind looking into the classics on a take of “traditional” literature. And as this quote says…

Enough of my ravings on books I have yet to read and now the honest truth of me being so lazy it’s shameful, although bit completely so as I have been working on this scrapbook for a bit which I will post as soon as it’s done, and this painting which I promise to post when that is also finished. Recently I’ve been working on this other scrapbook for school on 19th century France and England, which has been distracting. I’m trying to work on my photography but there’s not much I can take photos of apart from what’s in my room since I tend to spend a lot of time in there. My counsellor/psychiatrist seemed slightly ‘worried’ when she found out about the amount of time I spend in my room, but I don’t really think it’s something that should be found worrying, I like my room, I like the things in my room and I like that it is my room, and I don’t think it’s weird to spend a majority of my time in my room because being a teenager I’m sure I’m not the only one who does, but then I guess when I start to think of things like that then I also think of how someone should know when to stop using the excuse of being a teenager for everything that seems just the tad bit out of the norm. I haven’t seen my psychiatrist in a while, just because appointments never get around to being made, and I don’t think I really need to either, one thing she asks me to do at every meeting is to rate my mood out of ten, and though it seems like an easy question it’s actually quite difficult to do believe it or not. But I’ve learned a lot about myself through meetings and my own solitary confinement, that I’m not exactly a people person, it’s not that I’m not polite or that I’m too shy or whatever, it’s just that I’m not someone who moulds well with others, and I’m okay with that, I guess it’s just nice to think that maybe one day it won’t be seen as weird to be alone, but then again there seems to be a derogatory term for everything now.
Any who, I have been trying to motivate myself on working on my story although it hasn’t be going so well, then again I do still have time though not much. I now realise my post is very long so I’m going to leave it there, I doubt anyone will read this to the end, but thank you for taking a quick look at the title if nothing.


Ramadan Mubarak!


For all those who do not know, Ramadan is the fasting period in Islam, which goes on for 30 days from sunrise to sunset. Today is the first fast of Ramadan, and this year it is for 19 hours! Very long, very difficult but definitely not unbearable. I love Ramadan, it’s my favourite time of year which some of you might find quite odd to read because it’s a period without any food or drink, and I do love food a lot. But I love Ramadan more, because it’s the time of year I feel strong, and proud of what I’m doing, I feel this sense of accomplishment when I open my fast, and I feel an even stronger sense of faith when I think of the reasons behind the Islamic fasting period which is mainly the idea of us being lucky, to have such ease in gaining food, and the great advantage we use it unlike millions of people who aren’t as fortunate.

And it makes me feel closer to everyone else, for we all eat at the same time, there’s this idea of community, we’re not fasting as individuals we’re fasting together. We pray together, we eat together, and we fast together. That’s why I love Ramadan, because it’s the time of month where everything is so much better in my mind.

I read this passage that I think genuinely describes why I love Ramadan:


to those who are fasting how are you finding it so far?

An adventure of sorts.

On the weekend I went to a woodsy area with my friend totally on the whim, just because I felt spontaneous, and slightly adventurous.
And may I say It was a lovely day! It was the perfect sunny weather and everything felt right.

first we had a picnic..


And it was nice to just sit down and smile without having to worry about anything, to feel at ease, it was just lovely to be able to relax and enjoy moments passing by.

For me it’s when you’re finally at ease, that you choose to remember these moments most favourably, for you are truly paying attention to that moment, and that moment alone.

We then ran off and scurried around the fields, filming ourselves as we went, lying on the grass and looking at the skies, climbing the trees and yelling down so loud, I think it made me feel rather nostalgic, it’s been so long since I can remember running around like a child in the grass, and looking up at the clouds with someone else. I like these moments, the ones where the little things which we may have forgotten slowly appear to rise in the surface, blossoming that warm feeling inside. The day was so childlike and simple it felt like an adventure, and that’s something I hope to remember, me 16 remembering what it was like to be a child.


Food I made :0

With all the free time I’ve had I’ve spent some of it in the kitchen!
I tend to almost always bake but I seldom cook, so quite recently while I was feeling nostalgic remembering the times I had cookery classes at school I thought of pasta bake!

When I was 12 I remember making it in school, it was my first attempt and although it was a bit of a mess I still wanted to savour every bite because it was the first pasta bake I had made. Thus on a whim, I recently did the same. Now I know it doesn’t look too good…


But my brothers were really impressed, and trust me they are the toughest critics out there c:
On a sweet note I made some vanilla iced lemon curd cupcakes with chocolate toppings..


Do they look appetising enough? Is there hope for me yet to survive the kitchen?


I would reaaaaaaaally appreciate some advice right now, please?

today I went back to school for an induction day into year 12, i haven’t got many friends right now at school, especially not any close friends, and since there are new students coming into my school in September (which Are attending the induction days) I was hoping to make some new friends that way. But I haven’t had much luck, I’ve spoken to a couple of people but I’m finding it hard to find a common interest, and to break the ice. A lot of the current students in my year know most of the new pupils coming in so they’ve already befriended them, which is why I’m at a bit of a loose end. Tomorrow there are some other new students coming in so I’m hoping to have some better luck in actually making a friend. I just want to feel accepted in school and not be a total outcast, so do you guys have any advice at all on how I could make some new friends?